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They Are Not Your Person

 Relationship 101

You know they're not good for you but because you've had good times together and you are seemingly compatible you choose to make groundbreaking attempts to alter the impossible and make it possible to be together. 


You have FAITH that the person could somehow miraculously be the one. So you ignore better judgment and push past the red flags to commit to each other. 


At first, it feels awesome. Then within a short period, although you start to see their unlikable traits surface and it turns you off, you turn a blind eye.


The more they turn you off the less you can push their actions aside and so you say something with the hopes they will understand and change. They do understand and they agree to change.


You see signs of change. You are thrilled and once again you believe this impossible union can break the chains of doubt.


Time passes. Once again they cross a line that most would agree is questionable. You talk to them about it. They see your point and thank you for being patient and redirecting their focus back to being a good partner as opposed to behaving like an undesirable nightmare.


Your dream person is back on track. You are smiling together, attending events, taking photos, and feeling the love grow. You know they're not right for you, and your intuition is burning in your gut, but because you believe in the power of possibilities you ignore the small voice within and carry on. After all, they are listening to you and learning from your advice.


Then one day they do something that crosses a boundary and you know it's disrespectful. You're livid. Not only are you beyond angry but you feel ashamed that you believed in them. You feel foolish that you allowed yourself to feel vulnerable to the possibility of love with this person and you tell them so.


This time they lash back and accuse you of stifling them, beating them up verbally, and bashing them down emotionally. They decide to pull back and take time away from you.


At this point, you don't know what to do. You feel trapped in your vulnerability and although you know they're not your person, you miss them. You want to reach out and beg for forgiveness, even though you didn't do anything wrong. 


You reach out to make peace and they say they need more time. They say they're smothered by your expectations and high standards. 


Although you know your initial reaction to their inconsiderate actions was warranted you begin to second guess yourself. You begin to think you handled things all wrong. To top it off you start to reminisce about the compatible good times and convince yourself that this impossible partner was one of the best you had.


Sad and confused you feel like you're the problem. You feel like you're the one who ruined things. You blame yourself and get into a negative slump. You do this while placing a high value on them, and all while forgetting your worth.


You forget that this person was not even your person, to begin with. You forget that you were taking on a problematic person that was unnecessary for you to do. You forget that because they glittered you thought you could make them gold while not keeping in mind that they were only copper and would eventually tarnish.


So NOW? Well, now you get up, dust yourself off, remember your worth, and put the time you shared behind you. It has passed. Appreciate the smiles, the photos, and the compatible moments, and carry on to the NOW and the future. 


Why? Because NOW it's time to use that FAITH  you have and put it towards attracting the one that is your person.  


We get into situations with matters of the heart and desires of the mind. Don't be sorrowful or shameful for believing in love. Be thankful and grateful that you have been saved from a future of mental and emotional torture. Your new path is being paved. MOVE FORWARD IN FAITH. 


Love Cerise Fairfax



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