People truly love drama! My gosh!
A woman on tik tok contacted me for advice. She did a soul coaching session with me. We spoke about her past pain which was caused from a grade school teacher. The teacher was mean to her in grades 4-6 during physical education class.
This teacher constantly pointed out my client's obesity, and even teased her on some days in front of the students. Once the teacher said "Please class, be careful eating the pizza lunch today. I'm afraid you'll all catch the fat disease like you know who!"
More often than not my client went home crying. She never told her parents. She suffered in silence. She had no friends. She walked super slow to school in the mornings and after lunch, so she'd arrive right when the bell was ringing, because she was always teased in the school yard.
After grade 6 her family moved to a different area, and her life changed for the best. She found friends, had supportive teachers and even lost her weight that she was struggling so hard to lose.
Fast forward 25 years. She's on Facebook and someone invited her to a group that was created for her old grade school. She apprehensively accepted the invite. Taking the night to decide whether or not to accept the invitation in the morning she convinced herself that it would be fine!
So in the morning before work she accepted the invitation and checked out the group. The people who once teased her were mostly unrecognizable. They did not age gracefully.
There was one dude who always picked on my client through grades 4-6. He was the physical Education's teacher's favourite student. Well, once he saw my client's name in the group as a new member he said "Holy crap! Look who joined the group, fat Cora!"
Cora didn't see the post at first. She was busy at work. By the time she got home the post was filled with comments. Some were so mean it was revolting.
One woman went as far to write "omgosh, I almost didn't recognize her. She's slim and pretty now! Remember how greasy and gross she was?!"
Yes Cora is now slim, and very beautiful, but for some reason she forgot that, and didn't see the positive part of that woman's nasty comment. Instead she allowed the negative part to destroy her confidence she worked so hard to build.
Cora was devastated. She asked her co-worker for advice to help her, but her co-worker told her to ignore the post and make her own post with photos of her amazingly awesome life, and throw it in their faces!
You see, Cora is a pediatrician. She travels the world, and is married to an extremely wealthy man in the gold and oil business. She is literally living a dreamlike life.
She's not flashy though, so when her co-worker suggested for her to showoff it was not an option to be considered.
However, she did stay in the group, because she didn't want them to think they won. She didn't respond to the post, but she did check it from time to time to see if anyone else wrote anything. They didn't.
Last week someone wrote a post saying the physical Ed teacher that tormented her had passed away. The teacher died of a heart attack. When Cora saw the photo that was posted of the teacher, she was shocked. The teacher was obese, and that's not all, the teacher died from too much fat around her heart!!! Talk about karma!!
That's not the end, though. Here's where the drama starts. One of the members of the group private messaged Cora and said "The least you can do is pay respect on the post of Mrs Bird's death! She was your frigging teacher! I know you think you're better than everyone. I peeped your Facebook profile. You're just a rich b!tch now. No better than the fat kid you were!"
That's when Cora messaged me for a Soul Coaching session. Upon hearing that garbage I was just as mortified as her. I couldn't believe it!
During our session I explained that this group was unhealthy for her to be a part of. It was also unnecessary to stay in the group. She never interacted with the members. She tried once, but they still referred to her as fat Cora, and thought it was funny. So she stopped interacting.
I told her that this group of people were ignorant, low class, and unfit to represent the good people in society.
I advised her to not respond to the message from the savage woman, and simply exit the group.
She said she was reluctant to do that, because she didn't want them to feel like they won, and also, she wanted to know what they're saying about her.
I told her what they say makes no difference in her life. That what she doesn't know won't hurt her. What she does know will.
I explained that just by remaining a member of the group was making them win! They wanted to tear her down. They wanted to see her regress. They were uncomfortable with her rise and their demise.
I asked her how many of them pay her bills, make her bed, ease her discomfort, have her back? NONE!
We spoke for two hours. After getting down to deep levels of commonsense she realized the obvious. Being a part of that group was toxic. There was no winning for her by staying in the group.
I told her "staying in hell when you can climb out to heaven doesn't make you win! It makes evil win, because you are selling yourself short, and ignoring your worth and they relish in that! Get out of that hell! Let them know you have no time to be beat down and battered by sub level demons."
Once she clicked on exit group she felt a wave of satisfaction and peace flow through her. Hours later one of the group members messaged her and said "You may not remember me, but I was also teased in that school. From kindergarten to grade 8. I'm a mess. It really affected me and ruined my life. When I saw you left the group, so did I. I was actually pondering leaving this life, but after seeing you left the group, I realized that was the thing for me to do too.
I'm not successful like you, and definitely not as beautiful. I let them beat me down, but I'm still a good person. If you'd have me as a friend, maybe go for coffee some time, I'd truly appreciate it."
The two women are meeting up this weekend. Cora remembers this woman. They often looked into each other's eyes in the school halls. They never spoke to each other before, but now they can heal together.
My advice to you is cut the poison off. Don't second guess or doubt the power invested in you to remove the yuckiness caused by others.
For personal one-on-one Soul Coaching lifestyle advice give me a shout! Cerise Fairfax email firstname.lastname@example.org
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