Friday, October 23, 2015


Okay, let me start with the God’s honest truth. I was a huge player for years. In fact most of my life. Don’t judge me, I have a story and I want to share it with you. I was a hot jock in high school, in university it was just the same. I had women falling all over and throwing themselves at me. It was hard to commit to the right woman. So I took my time choosing ‘the one.’
I wasn’t a dog. You see, I’d talk to one girl exclusively at a time. It would last for a few weeks, then she’d do something I didn’t like and instead of giving her a second chance I’d take the ‘turn-off’ as a sign that we shouldn’t be together and hightail it outta there. I was never rude to any women when breaking up. I’d be nice enough to slowly cut her off until she got the hint that I was losing interest, she’d get angry and out of resentment break up with me. I know it was cheesy, but it was my way of getting out of things easily, and quite honestly I’d quickly explore the other women waiting in the wings. I know it all sounds mean, but I was an immature young man and didn’t know how to pick from so many options.
During one of these times of pulling back from a woman, the woman went off. She threatened to bang down my door. I’ll admit, she scared the crap outta me, so I left my apartment. I drove up the street to a local bar and chilled for a long while, and didn’t answer my phone.
I had my tablet and surfed the net for a while, but then my best friend Lynette showed up. Well she wasn’t my best friend then, but she quickly became that. I met her that day and we chilled on the patio for a good three hours.
Throughout of first year of friendship we’d sit on the phone all hours of the night, and text each other all day. She was more like a therapist. I’d tell her about the women in my life, she’d listen and give me advice.
She never really dated anyone at all, not sure why because she was a good catch. Great job, good attitude, no relationship baggage, no screaming kids, had her own place, independent, she had it all except the fact that she was battling her weight and wasn’t comfortable dating until she felt better about herself.
So after a year and a half of us being the closest friends ever, we finally planned a vacation together. We booked it in March, but we were going on the trip in June. During those three months she lost 50 pounds, and my goodness she looked like a completely different woman. The more weight she lost the more and more I got interested in her and by the time we left for our vacay I was completely and utterly in awe with her transformation.
When we were on vacay she got so much attention from other men on the resort that I found myself getting jealous and battled hard trying to hide my feelings. She never caught on until one of the nights she disappeared with another guest from the resort. I walked the beach like a beach comber until I found her- yes really I did. When I found them they were snuggled together on a beach towel on a pier not far away from the resort. A very strange feeling ran through me. I felt as if she was mine and he had no right enjoying her.
It was dark out, so in order not to scare them I yelled out “Lynette!” she answered and said “Hey, just over here. I’ll be a while. Meet you in the room later? Don’t wait up for me.” Because we were so close we chose double occupancy for our vacation, plus it was cheaper as well. So I went back to our room. I waited and waited, but no Lynette. I couldn’t fall asleep because I was frustrated that she was with another man. I didn’t see her like that. Actually, there was nothing wrong with her getting to know a guy, but it all just felt so weird.
I went to the 24hr bar around 4am and drank, and drank, and drank, until the sun came up. I got back to the room around 6am and she was not there! My heart did a double beat and my feet backtracked to the bar. My intention was to drink the day away, perhaps find a woman, and get rid of the feelings i had for Lynette, hey it’s a vacation right?!
When I got back to the bar, she was there with the same guy drinking a coffee. They were laughing and giggling and talking. I was miserable, but didn’t know why, because I should have been happy for her. I said hi to them and ordered my drink.
She said “Reggie, why are you drinking so early in the morning?” I said “Bad night.”
She said “Bad night? Want to talk about it?”
I wasn’t about to tell her that I was miserable because she spent the night with another man, so I played it off and said “naw, just didn’t sleep well.”
Right away she got up from her seat, looked at the guy and said “I forgot something in the room, I’m gonna grab it and take a shower and get some sleep. I’ll see you later?”
The she looked at me and said “Reg, wanna walk me to the room?”
I didn’t realize she was cutting the guy short to talk to me, but I still took the opportunity to be with her and walked with her to the room. When we got in she came straight out and said “What’s with you? And don’t tell me you didn’t sleep well.”
I wanted to lie but all I could say was “I’m falling for you.”
I couldn’t believe the words actually came out. I wasn’t planning on ever saying those words to her. I wasn’t even sure if I actually felt that way at all. Tears came to her eyes and she said “are you being serious?” instead of answering I just grabbed her and kissed her.
Since then we were inseparable, which was three years. Now fast-forward. In the last three years she has gained the 50lbs back plus 10lbs more. So now is 60lbs heavier than she was on our vacation. I didn’t really notice how much weight she had gained over the course of three years until she told me, and to be honest with you I didn’t care. I truly grew to love her for who she was. I knew that whenever the weight bothered her enough she’d lose it again. She did it once before, which means she’d know what to do when she’s ready to lose it again.
So anyway, I got a new job six months ago, and a new co-worker. Her name is Judith. We have to work alongside each other everyday, and sometimes we even have to travel out the country when working on certain projects, which means we’re sleeping in hotels.
Judith and I make a great team and within the first two months of working together we brought our company $300,000 in sales. So to show us their appreciation our company had a private dinner for us and told us to invite our significant others. I brought Lynette and Judith showed up alone. When Lynette saw Judith she nearly fell off her seat. The jealousy was evident and also quite embarrassing, she literally ignored Judith.
After the dinner she accused me of wanting Judith. Her exact words were “why wouldn’t you want Judith? She’s a stunning knockout! And she’s single.”
For the life of me I couldn’t convince her that I was not attracted to Judith at all. Sure she was good looking, but I didn’t really notice until Lynette said it. That’s when I took a deeper look at Judith and could understand why Lynette would feel threatened. Judith was a tall drink of water for sure… but who cares, I wasn’t thirsty!
So things drastically changed after Lynette met Judith. If I was late getting home she assumed I was working late with Judith. If I was on the phone with someone in my home office she assumed I was speaking to Judith. It got really bad. I was starting to get turned off, but at the same time I didn’t want to repeat my cycle from the past so I did my best to understand and reassure her that nothing was going on at all, which it really wasn’t.
She didn’t believe me and kept repeating that I lost interest in her because she gained so much weight, and she even went as far as to say “you’ve always been a dog.”
Now that hurt because I was never a dog. Yeah maybe I dogged women in the way I broke up with them and went on so quickly to the next, but I was never a dog. It was always one woman at a time for me.
Then she said “You only dated fit women. The only reason you even got interested in me was because I lost weight, and if I didn’t you would never have been interested in me. I only lost weight because of how much I wanted you all that time, but didn’t feel good enough for you.”
I had no clue she lost the weight for me. I didn’t even know she wanted me like that before our vacation. When she admitted that it made me love her so much more. I realized how lucky of a man I was and I said “Maybe you have a point, I really don’t know about then, but I know about now and right now I love you. I don’t want Judy.”
Oh no! That went against me because she said “Oh it’s Judy now eh?! On nick name terms now are we?” I didn’t know what to say. Everyone at the office calls her Judy, so it just slipped out. I even contemplated asking Judith to call Lynette to tell her we have nothing going on, but I knew that would be a huge mistake too.
So this went on for months, but just three weeks ago it finally came to a head. I was leaving work early one Friday, only to get home and spend some quality time with Lynette. She started eating healthy again so I was heading over to Whole Foods to get her some of her favourite eats. I have no clue about that store, I just feel it’s overpriced, but in any case I wanted to appease her and support her new healthy eating lifestyle, plus I didn’t want another drawn out negative weekend talking about her weight and Judith. So I texted her from the car to tell her I’d call her from the grocery store, then turned the music up in my car and zoomed over to Whole Foods.
When I arrived at whole foods I called her and she was fuming, cussing and everything! I truly wanted to hang up but knew it was not a good idea taking into consideration how vulnerable she had been. So I tried my best to make sense out of nonsense and let her speak. She was yelling about Judith again and then said “It’s over! I knew you were cheating! We’re done!” and she hung up.
“huh” is all I could muster out of me to say. I had no clue what I had done now. So I get home and she’s packing an overnight bag to sleep at her mother’s place. A part of me was relieved because I knew I did nothing wrong, and to be honest, I just wanted peace, but then another part of me wanted to be vindicated and clear my name. I said “what’s your problem now? What is this about Judith?”
She stopped packing and said “you texted me when you meant to text her and that’s how I know you are lying.”
“Huh!!!! I never, ever texted Judith before, we are only co-workers and that is the extent of it. I don’t even think Judith has my private cell number, I don’t have hers.”
“You're a liar!!!! re-read this text you sent me!” she yelled at the top of her lungs and chucked her phone at me.
I read the text out loud, it said “Hey hun, judy leaving the office. Will call you from the grocery store.” When the text should have said “Hey hun, just leaving the office. Will call you from the grocery store.”
And that was it. She didn’t even realize that I mis-texted the word ‘just’ and put ‘judy’ instead. Ugh, she was so caught up in her insecurity that she didn’t realize that on the keypad for any device the letter S is beside the letter D, and the T is beside the Y, so my big man fingers pressed D instead of S and Y instead of T.
So she’s gone. Hasn’t called me, texted me or emailed me. Her mother called and said she’s coming to pick up the remainder of Lynette’s stuff. I tried to speak to the mother, but even she does not believe me because unfortunately her husband had just left her for a younger and skinnier woman.
I gave up on trying to reach out and even though I’m shaking my head over the ridiculousness of it all a part of me is glad she’s gone. I’m not so sure I’d be able to live with the constant accusing and bickering. I love Lynette, and always will, but her insecurity is a demon that I am not willing to battle.
Any suggestions would be greatly appreciated.



Post a Comment